I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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