why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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