If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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