If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
