you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
