By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize