she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
