Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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