we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
