What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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