the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
