I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
