I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
