Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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