Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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