party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
