they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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