garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
