I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
