Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
no you cant smoke seaweed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize