Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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