Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
