yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
