dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
