Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
