I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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