Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
