I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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