I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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