Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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