saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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