Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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