If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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