I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
