so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
