Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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