Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
