I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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