the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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