dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
