Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i drank out of a bidet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
