Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
