I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
