Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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