So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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