broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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