he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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