apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
