college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
