You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
