Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
