please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
