i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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