letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there is another microwave in the elevator.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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