I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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