he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
