In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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