I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
