Nicole vs. Life
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
