i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
