okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
