I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
