I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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