Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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