I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize