if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize