Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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