i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
